Kindfulness

“You know mummy, when I grow up? I want to be kind... like Hulk.”

“Like Hulk?”

“Yes mummy.”

“He may be big and sometimes scary, and he looks a bit different to the other superheroes, but he always tries to not hurt them or be mean. Sometimes the others don’t see he is being kind, but I know he is.”

“So what do you need to do to be kind?”

“Just be a friend to everybody... even if they are not a friend to you.”

A conversation with my 3 year old on the way home from nursery this week... he normally chats away as we are driving home and I’m half listening as we dodge the traffic, but this conversation really floored me.

This year there have been so many stories of kindness... the rainbows through the storm. Individuals supporting each other through lockdown. Communities coming together. Families appreciating the extra moments together.

It’s a kindness revolution... there are 4.3million posts on Instagram with the hashtag #kindness, and the online fundraising platform GoFundMe saw a 50% upturn in the past year.

Kindness is good for us...being kind releases the “kindness” hormone, oxytocin... it lowers our blood pressure, impacts the vagus nerve which regulates the heartbeat and controls the relaxation of our bodies, helps slow the ageing process through reducing free radicals which age our cells, and the increase of dopamine creates a feel-good natural high.

A research study by Rowland and Curry (2018) found that after 7 days of performing kind acts, happiness increases, and there’s a positive relationship between the number of kind acts and the level of happiness someone experiences.

But it’s not just about being kind to others, but also being kind to ourselves. The voice that speaks to us most is the one in our head. We need to talk to ourselves as we would a friend, show ourselves the compassion we give others, value all the quirky wonderfulness that makes us us.

My little hulk has taught me so many ways to be kindful... to consciously think how to be more kind...

• Know – open your eyes and see what people around you need – a kind word, a smile, help with shopping

• Include – be kind to unkind people too.. they are often the ones most in need

• Notice – be present, put away distractions and give others your undivided attention

• Do – don’t just talk about it, do something. Think about a kind thing you can do each day for the next 4 weeks

• Focus - on the little things, small gestures and thoughtful messages can make a big difference e.g. bringing neighbour’s bin in. It’s not about money – studies show people with less money show more generosity and helpfulness

• Understand – that you don’t need to agree with someone to show them kindness

• Love – true kindfulness comes from the heart. It’s more than just empathy, understanding the perspective and emotions of someone else, it’s compassion.. being moved so much by those emotions that you’re compelled to help.

My boys are normally obsessed with advent calendars, fighting for the best chocolates, arguing over whose turn it is, but this year we are doing something different... a kindness calendar. They have made a list of 25 ways they want to be kind over the coming weeks, and each day they will choose an idea.. from helping with the washing up (yippee!) to writing 5 things they love about themselves, creating a box for the homeless, to saying something nice to a friend. They want me to share it with you too.

So as we move into a crazy, busy time of year, each day ask yourself, how can I be kind to myself and others today?

And what can I do to be a little bit more Hulk?

A bit about Bounce…

At Bounce Coaching & Development Ltd, we use the clever bits from brain science and mix them with oodles of positive thinking and a sprinkle of fun to create learning solutions that stick.

Contact Caroline to secure your place on the NEW BOUNCE bootcamp – 6 weeks of self care, reflection and action planning to boost your energy and bring bounce back into your life.

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